Wild Guide Rule #12
WILD GUIDE LESSON
We are in nothing short of interesting times. I feel a growing rise of consciousness, healthier communication, and all kinds of amazing things going on. I also see a lot of truth coming to the surface. In light of the Aziz Ansari #metoo story, I thought I’d write this week’s Wild Guide about female satisfaction. I’ve written about owning our happiness, confidence, and getting comfortable with setting up boundaries. But how stealth are you in being able to say what you want? How bold are you when it comes to owning your own satisfaction?
As women, we’ve typically been groomed to restrain our wants, and prioritize male satisfaction. We’ve been taught a system that doesn’t work and makes us unhappy. We’ve been embedded with the notion that if we make a man happy, then we’ll be happy. It’s not that it’s bad to make other people happy. It’s just that it’s most important we learn to make ourselves happy first. Our happiness shouldn’t depend on a man being happy with, or interested in us. Our comfort and happiness are equally important. So if we’re not feeling a situation (sexually, professionally, whatever) we have the right to say so. Reading the Ansari story made me think of the times I incorrectly felt I had to put up with something because I didn’t want to embarrass a guy. I shelved my satisfaction so that I didn’t make the situation awkward.
That’s not helping any situation, especially not for you. It’s time we had a healthy dose of knowing that our satisfaction matters in every situation. It’s not something that ever needs to be secondary. Especially not for the sake of another person’s happiness over our own. Listen to the fearless inner voice that voices dissatisfaction. Honor it and obey it next time. You’ll be surprised how empowering it feels to create space for what you desire.