Wild Guide Rule #7
WILD GUIDE LESSON
So often women are taught to be pleasing, accommodating and the ultimate team player, often times to our own detriment or stress. Well, enough of that. There’s a beautiful art to saying no while also not feeling bad. It’s worth mastering because this world will so easily turn nice people into doormats, which is not what you want, right? Obviously! So, my 7th tenet is all about wielding that oh so powerful ‘no’ to your benefit.
As a woman, you have every right to say no whenever you’re feeling it. I feel like this needs to be said, because so much of life is permission seeking and giving. Give yourself the permission of saying no- when you want to, because you feel like it, because you don’t, because it makes sense, and just because. Say it and get comfortable with it. If you’re nervous about making people angry with you and you’ve adopted this ‘I can do it all and make people love me’ attitude- girl, stop. It’s not a cute look, and worse, you know it just makes you feel bad too. Plus, I hate to burst your bubble, but there’s going to be one day when you literally won’t be able to say yes + the people you’ve bent over backwards for will not appreciate that you’ve come through every single time except this one moment. Despite you being Superhero Sally, they’ll still get mad at you for not coming through because they’re reliant on + expectant of your service to them, not the mutuality of your relationship.
I’ve written about the Art of Yes before and how it can simplify and de-stress your life. Well the Art of No helps make your life fun, and it helps you confidently say no to things that you just don’t like, or don’t work for you. The finesse is to do it in a way that’s not mean or belittling, but just honest and clear of the fact that you have the right to say no to things that don’t suit you. Usually we wait til we’re so mad to say no because we’re finally at our limit, or we feel like we have enough of a ‘case’ for why we have permission from ourselves to say no. Don’t wait til that point. The second you feel like you don’t want to- say no. The world won’t crumble. And gravity won’t stop. You’d be surprised how much cooler you handle situations when you just respect your inner guide.
Try it, it’s liberating.