I’ve been told a million times, “When the going gets tough, the tough get going.” Sometimes, it’s hard to get going when life has knocked you down a few times though. The second you start doubting yourself + stop believing in yourself is the second you start to fail yourself though. Having healthy self-esteem is key to enjoying a fulfilling + purposeful life. So what does one do when they falter or stumble + can’t find their way back to believing in themselves? Here are the 4 tricks I use to remind myself that I can do anything I set my mind on.
4 Things To Help You with the Confidence of Believing In Yourself
1. Assess Your Doubts
Be honest about what you’re doubting. I read a lot of articles that talk about attacking your fears, or altogether ignoring them. That’s a negative way to approach a difficult topic. The best way to start believing in yourself is to come from a place of love and compassion. If you are afraid of something, the best way to work through it is to acknowledge it, own it and break it apart. For instance, if you feel like you you’ll never get that promotion at work because _____ (fill in the blank), work through the problem lovingly + without beating yourself up, otherwise you’re setting yourself up for failure from the get go. So acknowledge why you feel you can’t get that promotion, or don’t deserve it. Own those feelings of want, doubt and fear. Sometimes just saying we’re afraid makes us less afraid! Perhaps you’re afraid that if you put more effort in at work you won’t shine as bright as you hope and will be passed over and that will make you feel like you’re not enough. Next, break it apart: you’ve already acknowledged the feelings and owned them, so next break it apart by reminding yourself of all that you are. You’re here for a reason, just as you were hired for a reason and have come this far! Don’t let fear win by diminishing what you know in your heart of hearts you can accomplish. Our natural self believes in us, so return to that place. What would you tell the 6-year-old version of yourself? Would you be mean and tell them that have no chance, or would you tell your 6-year-old version “you’ve got this!!”
2. Remove the Naysayers From Your Life
Toxic people bring toxicity into you life, so it goes without saying that if you want to start improving your life, you must get rid of the naysayers + people who fill your life with doubt. It’s important to have people who will keep you grounded + balance you by giving constructive criticism, tell you when you’re not being your best, or call you out on your stuff. There is a difference, however, in people who want the best for you and people who, for whatever reason, don’t want to see you succeed. They might be jealous, they might just be a negative Nancy, who knows? It’s not your job to decipher. It’s your job to move on gracefully, and live a healthy happy life surrounded by people who believe in you and want to see you shine.
When you doubt your power, you give power to your doubt. -Honore de Balzac
3. Remember Your Victories!
One of the best ways to combat doubt is to remember all the times you kicked butt! Make a list and write out everything (yes, everything) that you’ve accomplished, succeeded in doing, and triumphed over. You’d be surprised how fast that list can add up and how great it will make you feel once you look over it and see what all you have been successful at. Write down the little things, no matter how small and write down the big things. They all matter! If you’re having trouble recounting what you’ve done, ask a friend, family member or someone whom you trust to help you list some things. I suggest doing this the next time you’re in a great mood, because sometimes it can be hard to remember accomplishments when you’re being down on yourself. That way, next time you’re temporarily suffering from self-doubt, you can pull out this handy list + be reminded of all the times you’ve been excellent + awesome. There is something about reliving your achievements that will put you in an amazing mood + help you realize just how ridiculous it is to doubt yourself. I used this trick every time I was being harsh on myself + wanted to give up on creating my own business. 5 years later, my business is on the rise, I’m proud of the projects that are coming in + I absolutely ♥ my life!!
4. Try, Try Again…
It’s very important to remember that things rarely work out, in their entirety, the first time or attempt. Brush yourself off, get back up + try, try again. You will be thankful at your resilience when the success of your endeavors flourish. This is always so + this I promise you. Keep trying, keep reaching + know in your heart of hearts that the body can achieve what the mind can conceive. So if you are able to think it, you are able to do it. It may take blood, sweat + tears, but you really can do anything you put your mind to, you just have to learn not to be the one in your own way by doubting yourself. Use affirmations, quotes, pictures – whatever it is that you need to remind yourself that you can achieve + accomplish whatever it is that you want. Just don’t give up + don’t allow yourself to give in to doubt + fear. Lovingly remind yourself of how awesome you are + practice believing in yourself every day!